Get to know your planner!
7/6/2022
Photo by Anastasia Page
She/They and a whole lot of Gay!
I was born in Austin Texas and raised in many parts of the south. I grew up going to different schools and living in multiple parts of Texas and South Carolina with a short stay in North Carolina. My ability to make friends quickly allowed me to create relationships that have stayed with me even though I couldn’t stay long.
When I graduated high school I knew I wanted to pursue my love for acting. I had been chasing that passion for years. I saw a play when I was 12 that my sister was performing in and I got to be back stage during a rehearsal and I remember thinking, this is what I want to do. After that I was signing up for every choir, speech class, and theatre group I could get into.
Needless to say 12 year old me would be so proud that 18 year old me would end up studying acting at the New York Film Academy! While there I made friends from all over the world and lived a life I could have only dreamed of. I never really called anywhere my home but I so desperately wanted to believe that this would be for me. As my story goes though, this would not be where I stay for long.
I moved home to Texas for 3 years and one day I just decided I was ready to go back. Without warning to anyone I bought a plane ticket and was back in NYC acting like I had never left. I started back into acting class, modeling, and taking background gigs to get into the industry as much as possible. Somehow I was even lucky enough to get to live with one of the greatest photographers I will ever meet and they documented a lot of my life there. I truly can’t express how grateful I am to have had the opportunities I have had in NYC.
Living in the city taught me lessons about myself that to this day I am still unraveling. One of which is that I am an out and proud pansexual and that is something I did not realize during my time in NYC. It was only after I left again, moved to Texas to marry my best friend, and found tiktok. In that order. I had known I was Bisexual since around 14 but I had internalized homophobia that I had absolutely no clue I was dealing with. It wasn’t until I found the side of tiktok that every golden retriever boyfriend hopes his sweet innocent alternative girlfriend doesn’t find. I found a community of people who thought and felt like me. I learned what pansexual is and immediately knew that was describing me. I felt like I could finally understand parts of myself I had always been so confused about.
Something that came along with understanding my sexuality that I didn’t expect was the search to understand my relationship styles. I could never fully understand monogamy but it is the social norm so it’s what I did. It always felt so controlling to me in a way that didn’t fit how my heart worked. I did not enjoy when partners would tell me I could not be friends with people just because they sensed a sexual attraction. What I didn’t understand the most though, is that what my heart longed for, was polyamory.
I now understand that my heart loves in a way that is not wrong, it’s just not normalized. I am able to love that part of myself fully and let my heart be expressive in ways I never imagined. I am able to be me.
I am telling you all of this for a reason. There is no love that is to gay, to weird, or to many for me to work with. No matter how short or how long our time is together, you will become more than a client, you’ll be a friend. There is no distance to far for me to go and no task to small for me to do. I am here to celebrate love, all love, and especially your love.
